Wednesday, May 14, 2008

100th post(or is it better to say 100th page in my autograph?)


Here comes the 100th post of my blog. I never imagined that I'll come this far. It's all because of each and everyone of you that I reached 100 posts, particularly after I thought of stopping this blog long back. I was thinking a lot about what to write in this coveted post. I've decided to post about the reason why I started this virtual life.
I desperately wanted a shoulder to lean on after I came to Bahrain. Here, I've no one whom I know except my manager with whom I talked a couple of times on phone before coming here. I thought that I've run away from the shadows of my past but being alone and without much friends, brought those dreadful memories back. I used to cry a lot thinking about those. I wanted someone to listen to my past and comfort me. Then, I was introduced to this wonderful world of blogs as stated in this post. All my first posts were based on my love. I just wanted this blog to be full of my love which I can read and read and read for the days to come. Then slowly I started blogging on other issues as well. Here goes my story:


Before I met her, I used to have a careless perspective on life and I don't have a certain goal ahead of me. It was at my cousin's marriage that I met her for the first time. As the marriage was held at a hotel with a beach front, I went to the beach and she followed me there. She insisted on chatting with me and I can't see her clearly in the moonlight. So when we came out, I was surprised by her looks. She looked so divine. Then after a while, she asked me whether I can take her for a trip around Vizag(this happened when I was there). I accepted happily.

We met on the pre-decided date and I took her for a tour. Then we went to a movie. During the interval session of the movie, she asked my opinion about love. I just told that it's a great feeling. She replied that she too feels the same and after a minute, told me that she loves me. I was taken back by this. Surely I am not a person who can woo a girl just by chatting for a couple of hours or so. I sensed something fishy and refused her politely and said that she'll find a better person than me.
But she insisted and I thought that she'll realize later on and said that we'll just be friends. Days passed on well. She used to be from some other place and she came to my place during her holidays.

During these visits, I realized that my life is destined to be with her only and I can't leave her. I am in deep love with her.

After some months, we became inseparable. We can't live with out talking to each other for even a couple of days(I told you that she's from some other place). Many calls used to travel between our places and I used to maintain a credit book with the STD shop guy near my house. Once I even stayed with her for two days in her house when her parents went for a marriage far away. Our bond is so strong that we never had an intention of sex in our minds. I can swear that those two days are the BEST in my life.

As fate can change anyone's life, my life also changed. Once she told me that she's going to Pune with her family to meet her relatives and asked me whether I want her to leave or not. If my answer is negative, she told me that she'll tell some story to her parents and stay at her home only. I told that it's OK and asked her to return back soon.

But even after a fortnight or so, there's no message from her. Somehow I traced her relatives number in Pune with a lot of effort. When I called there, I got the shock of my life. I was told that she and her uncle died in an accident and her father is still in hospital nursing broken ribs.
All of a sudden, everything is blank in front of me. The very thought that I lost someone without whom I can't even imagine my life came as a severe blow to me. I wandered like a mad guy for many days. If my friends were not there for me, I wouldn't have lived to write this now. It was them who made me realize that life's not going to end now and they made me a normal person by sparing their valuable time for me. And her parents came to know about our affair through her dairy and her
father met me a couple of times after he recovered.

This incident happened almost 8 years back and I still can't shrug her off my mind. I'm out of the trauma now but still I wish to see her someday and come back into my life.



Well friends, this is my story and the real reason behind my blogging. I hope I didn't bore you much.

22 comments:

vEENs said...

it bought tears to my eyes... i dnt knw what to say..

i wish u lov and dnt ya worry ...where ever she is... u remember she loved u.

i hope u continue blogging... and well.. i hope it becomes.. al good in the coming time for yu.. i sure do wish that!

Sree said...

I very well know the pain of losing someone we love and life of someone so young is too precious to be just blown away. SHe has blended you in a lot more than she would have if she were here right now at this moment, isnt it?? Like you said to me, please go on and make her proud of you whereever she is..

Keshi said...

k Im crying now...that was really sad!


** I was told that she and her uncle died in an accident and her father is still in hospital nursing broken ribs.

Horrible news! It must hv been really tough for ya.


Death is so final Closure hardly comes to the loved-ones.

Im sorry Satish! *HUGZ*


btw come check out my reward post..mebbe that'll make u smile for awhile.

TC
Keshi.

Solitaire said...

OMG! You are a brave soul. Kudos to you for passing through the phase and being who you are. You handled it well. Now the only direction for you to move is upwards. No you did not bore us my friend. You are not the kind who cribs, rants, bitches, complains. You have borne it all. You have come a long way. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Alapana said...

Congrats on reaching 100th post and keep writing.
Memories never leave, people do. Wish i could say more but i just feel so empty after reading the post. God bless.

Vee... said...

you are really brave. you will definitely get the best in ur life. keep blogging. btw, i frequently read ur blog :)

brocasarea said...

:)..that was a really touching man...can understand what u feel..i also liked one girl in my college but she told its better we be friends...:)

RADhika said...

I was so much taken aback just by reading this., so i can understand what you must have gon ethrough...

i reallly wish you all the love and i am sure it will come back in some way r the other...

and it was realy great to know that this was ur 100th post, which show s how courageous u r. ... :)

Krishna Kumar said...

Anna..i'm speechless...initially i though..this is just a post related to ur milestone...but from 3rd paragraph..i understood about the post...thought that it was about your love story....but the fourth paragraph really shocked me....spontaneously some droplets fell from my eyes and all i can do now is..a tight hug...!!

Pri said...

damn!! i am convinced life is definitely cruel :(
but having faced all this and still maintained a balance,u must be one helluva braveheart for sure!
im impressed...and keep going buddy..life will have better days to show...

take care!

Swathi said...

hmmm..ur 100th post and a senti one!! sateesh, life is like that, when close ppl leave us behind, i say to myself that may be even god needs company of good people thats why he calls them near to him. where ever they are they must be in peace! life has to go on and u came out of the tragedy is what matters! takecare and looking forward for another 100 posts within this year!!

Cinderella. said...

With this true post you proved, that there's no stopiing if you want to get out of the shit you're going thru.

I got sad reading about how you guys drifted away. Its sad how several lives come together and then have to drift away for destiny has her own plans. Makes me wonder, why do we hafta meet in the first place then...?
And then I silence myself saying, its coz so you know, that there are good things that happen, and also that worse could have happened...

Read my "Cross-roads" post if you like. Runs on the same tracks.

I wish you happiness. Amen.

keerthicherukuri said...

Hmm..I knew this post would be abt her memories..:(, 'm short of words now...just take care, God Bless.

BTW kaalu ela vundi?

ceedy said...

I admire you friend for showing such strength...if around you I would have hugged you.....

thanks for sharing this with us and hope it made you a little lighter.....and why do you think it will bore us....instead it opened up a different avenue to know you as a person.....

hopefully all will be well in the future.....

Ashu said...

100 posts ki badhai

touching post!!!

Ashu said...

oh man, u deeply loved her. so sorry for the loss. u d find one similar to her who d love u the same way as she did....

keep faith, m stumped for words on reading posts like this, if this sounds a bit made up words, then i m sorry for this, but pls gauge that i do feel pain on reading the incident that happened....

keep blogging. do i addd ya ?

Satish Bolla said...

@all the above wonderful people
sorry for making your heart heavy with this memories of mine. and thank you all for being with me all the time.
sorry for not replying to each of you. i hope u understand.

booboosmamma said...

Satish congrats on your 100th post. i wish you find her.
BTW how is your leg now?

Nirmal's Blog said...

i know i m late here.....but cant stop writing it..........

tat was really sad.....hope u will find someone lovly in future..

LollyPop said...

hey that was really sad.Very touching :-(((

btw me too frm vizag.

AK said...

My first time on ur blog Satish..Very touchy post..really wet my eyes..
all i can say is take care..and kudos to u for coming out of such tragedy and to ur friends for being there wen u needed them the most...
hoping to read many many more posts from u...

Satish Bolla said...

@nirmal, booboosmamma, lollypop and AK
thanq all for ur emotional support. i hope u'll not see much posts like this in this blog any more.